He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
