it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
