Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
