:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
