I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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