i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize