**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
