He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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