I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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