Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
