I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
