Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
