dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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