Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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