i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
