This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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