woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
