If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
