I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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