fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
