why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Randomize
