Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
