I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
did i just pee glitter
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
