Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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