new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
