The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
