I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
