I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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