apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
