Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
