I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You are the jesus of drinking
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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