two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Alive.
So much puke
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
