I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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