She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
