no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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