I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
