their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
