Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
