I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Less talking, more tequila
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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