That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
