the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize