And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
