Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize