I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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