HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
