last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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