Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
