just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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