He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
