Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
