He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
