It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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