I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
