The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
