More tranny stories later!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
