You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
