what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
