Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
