Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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