Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The power of my boobs compel you
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
