she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
