Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
