Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm both gender and math confused
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
